Announcements at the end.
Thank you. Thanks to Heather and the "Snow-flakes" for making the first day of our six-day party successful. Heather gave a nice introduction to our seven newcomers in the comment section. We look forward to learning more about Laura, Mandy, Jenny, Jessie, Amber, Marie, and Mary Beth as the week goes on.
Recap. Yesterday's post talked about the use of postcards and labels as simple tools for staying connected with friends at a distance. In true form our readers jumped in, adding to the mix other tools such as: Skype, Blogs, Peggy's Creative Greetings, Texting, Instant Messaging, Facebook, and Chaotic's suggestion of conveniently storing postcards and stamps in a Ziploc bag so you can grab them on the go.
Today. Tuesday, November 18 we will examine another vital tool for staying connected. Today we will talk about the use of rituals to connect with and celebrate our friendships. Veteran readers understand why this should be the focus of today's post, for the eighteenth of each month is reserved for our very own highlowaha ritual. It seems fitting then that we invite our new friends into the fold by asking them to participate. In addition, we will open the floor for readers to share rituals shared by you and your friends.
Background. Party-goers and new readers... our monthly ritual involves sharing our "high" from the past month, our "low" from the past month, and our "aha (something we've learned in the past month). It is the perfect celebration, not only of our blog's name, but also of the significance of number 2(18) to our blog community. The simplicity (and anticipation) of hearing where our highlowaha friends "are at" each month fosters warm feelings in the same way that reconnecting with an old friend over coffee might. If you think might stick around this community beyond this week, consider taking a minute or two to visit the posts labeled "Ding, Ding, Ding... I Interrupt This Programming (4/29)" and "Begad, It's the 18th (9/18)" They will give you all the background you need to feel in the loop.
Giveaway. As part of our monthly tradition, we give a highlowaha t-shirt to one lucky winner each month. All you have to do to get be in the running for this month's shirt is post your high, low, and aha. Peggy, I have your winning t-shirt from last month in hand and will put it in the mail before the week is out. I will insert a short note letting you know why I have been sitting on it.
Transition. Before setting you free to post your monthly high, low, aha... a couple more examples of friendship rituals.
Example #1. Chantilly Lace. This was one of the best examples of a friendship ritual I've ever heard. It was shared with me by a former staff person who, many years later, maintains close friendships with her friends from high school. The group of friends has named themselves Chantilly Lace (can't remember why - sorry). Every two years the group meets at a small cabin in Illinois where they grew up. They play games, stay up late talking, share pictures, and laugh about the good old days. The friends have made Chantilly Lace sweatshirts and anticipate with their excitement their alternate-year gatherings.
Example #2. Another, less involved, example. When I first moved from Louisville to Texas, life was bittersweet. I missed elements of my life in Louisville and did not yet feel connected to Texas. Heather and I were working on a professional project and we needed to have ongoing communication. We agreed we would talk at 6:00 am every Friday morning. Heather was on her drive to work and I was comfortably seated at my favorite Starbucks. That one weekly friendship ritual became excessively important to me. It was something to which I very much looked forward. Some weeks we got right down to business. Other weeks we'd hit the 50-minute mark and realize we'd not yet done any business. Fortunately, our weekly phone call has been replaced with a bi-monthly lunch date , but that morning ritual served an important role in helping me through a transition and in feeding my friendship with Heather.
Question. How about you? Tell us about your highs, lows, and ahas in the past month - as well as any rituals you may share with friends?
Challenge. Don't have a ritual? Maybe you can challenge yourself to develop one before day's end. Don't rely on traditional things like birthdays or holidays. Pick the half-way point between the birthday's of you and a friend and establish that as your "celebrated friendship holiday." Working with a group of friends? Take the average of your birth months and the average of your birth dates. Viola. There's your personalized friendship holiday. Now you just need to figure out how to spend the coveted day(s). Got ideas? Share them.
Announcements. Lots of announcements today. If you are a party-goer or a newcomer to our community, some announcements will make more sense than others. Read them all, though. It is a GREAT way to get a sense of the fun community upon which you have stumbled.
- Winners of the Infamous Postcards: Laura, Mandy, and Marie are the only three party-goers who either posted or sent me their mailing address. That was step one in winning a stack of Picture Postcards. Step #2. I will mail the three of you a Picture Postcard TODAY. The first one to receive the postcard and do what it instructs wins. Veteran readers... no such fun and games for you. Thirteen of you posted. And the winner is... Chaotic!!! I like it, Chaotic. I can't remember you ever having won something from highlowaha!
- Blog-a-thon: I got three more checks today. That leaves us about eight checks short of having received them all. I WILL mail the money to Tera on one week from yesterday (Monday, November 24). Stick your check in the mail to me today and I will still get it in time to include it in the final tally. My address is: 4012 Harvestwood Court, Grapevine, TX 76051. Thanks to VERY generous checks from a number of you, we have already collected $285.00 in Blog-a-thon money (to go toward our Helping Hand Christmas family).
- Super Bowl Throw Down: Congratulations to Melanie who won last week's Super Bowl Snack Throw Down. The secret ingredient was peanuts. Up next is Heather and Susan. Tune in this Friday and help choose the secret ingredient.
Signing off until tomorrow...
Posts
29 comments:
I think that for Mandy, Jenny, Laura and I you could consider our "girls lunch" a little bit of a ritual. It was nice to know that every so often, just as work was really getting you down we'd meet up for a lunch at Panera to dish the gossip, vent about the office, or whatever else came up. I miss those lunches, especially now where I don't particularly know anyone at work so most days find myself eating in my office alone.
Now for the HLA ritual:
High: Reconnecting with all my friends on the blog and getting to share this with them if only for a week.
Low: STILL not selling our house!
Aha: The time change does not equal an extra hour of sleep when you have a toddler...actually you end up losing sleep as you go to bed an hour later but they continue to wake up an hour earlier....ARGH!
I have built a new ritual here in VA with my friends here. As Hall Directors, we don't often get to spend time together and when we do, we like to get off campus. So, we have started taking full advantage of College Night Wednesdays at IHOP. Who doesn't like 50% of entrees? It has become an expected ritual for me every Wednesday night. Many weeks, I just try to get through to Wednesday night knowing that IHOP with my friends will be coming.
High- Having found such great friends in Virginia. My experience here would not be the same if they were not in my life.
Low- It's that time of year when everything is due for school and the residents in my building seem to be going a little crazy at the same time. Resulting in little sleep and some stress.
Aha- I have moved to a part of Virginia where it is not odd to be 20 degrees one week and 70 the next in November. I thought I had gotten away from that, but I guess I should have known when I moved to the Shenandoah VALLEY.
PS. We have our first dusting of snow on the ground this morning.
Katie K- it snow flurried here yesterday too!!! it was kind of exciting even through my anti-winter spirit!
Dr. B, I totally e-mailed you my address yesterday to be in on the postcard thing. its ok, though. no big deal!
high- family weekend being such a huge success! and building some great new friendships.
low- figuring some things out in my life. and losing a great friendship.
aha- i only have one more semester left and then i graduate and become a nurse! AHHHHH! scary thought! but exciting too!!!
Thanks for getting today's party started, women.
Ok. let's see... One of the things characteristic of rituals is that they are predictable. They happen on a regular regular schedule. That makes Katie's Wednesday night IHop trips a great example. Same with my Friday calls with Heather. I came to look forward to them, anticipating much of the week our hour long phone meeting.
Cassie... yes, it is true you sent me your mailing address yesterday. That, however, was the instruction for our new party goers. Returners only had to post a comment saying, "welcome" to be in the running. You were in the "returner" drawing.
Now my turn for highs, lows, and ahas.
High: The presidential election and feeling a renewed sense of hope in the country! Also, returning home to New York to see family and friends.
Low: Watching my parents get older and worrying about them.
Aha: I'm reading the book on Lincoln that Maureen sent me and I am struck by how hard working and motivated men of that age were. The book tells of Lincoln and his running mates reading voraciously and waking up at 4:00 am to begin their studies of philosophers, etc.... It makes me wonder why getting my 15 year old to do his homework should be so hard! We are allowed to take so much more for granted, by virtue of where our forefathers have been.
High: Learning that my best friend, Joy, is pregnant with her second child.
Low: Finding out that our halls will now be open to some students over holidays, which will require me to have to be on "duty" during winter recess.
Aha: Spending a weekend with 15 high school kids during a KeyLeader retreat was very insightful and inspiring.
HIGH: I'm still working (temporarily) {I really don't know how long the job will last} and it gives me a great purpose to get up and out of the house, I enjoy smiling to patients who seem to be so glum. I make a game out of being their little ray of sunshine!!! :0)
LOW: as my teenagers get older, the point of failure I feel... when their independence shows through, and they don't do the simple tasks I ask them, I can't do it all, anymore.
AHA: Learning... I love to learn... new ways to talk with my children, new recipes to try, new ways to communicate (postcards), finding endless definition and solutions to health issues... by surfing the net... hearing stories from 'girlfriends' and how they deal with life, and finding out what products will make my hair more volumptuous, shinny and sexy!!!
Just racing out the door but wanted to say hello to all of you in "HLA Land"!!!! Have a great day:) I am off the the new Outlets for some Christmas shopping!!!
Hello to everyone new! Welcome to HLA Land.. Its a great place to be!
High... Going to the new outlet
Low.... Layne's mom is in the hospital
Aha.... only 93 days til Krystens Sweet 16
Yes, our Girl's Lunch is a nice ritual, although we do not have a set time but it's usually once a month.
High: Seeing my daughter dressed up and beautiful for her First Communion.
Low: My career has become so unfulfulling that I'm going to have to make a change soon.
Aha: My baby is growing up so fast, I have to make more time to spend with her!
High:: I can't remember ever having won something from highlowaha yet, yesterday, I DID!!!!
Low:: Having to be at work all day today alone bc the other 2 gals are in a class.
Aha: treating myself to web-sirfing since I am alone in the office :-)
Well, I enjoyed the first day but completely missed the instructions, darn! I will have to pay more attention as I participate :)
I am very fortunate in getting to currently work for a company that is based out of Indianapolis, so I travel there often. I am originally from the Indianapolis area, I have lots of friends and family that I get to see and visit often. Everytime I am home, I make it a point to have a girls night dinner with my girlfriends from middle and high school. It is great while it lasts but we will have to get creative since my contract ends in March with that company. For my group of college girl friends, we try to schedule vacations together when possible. We went to Europe about 2 1/2 years ago for 14 days and vowed to keep up the vacation for the girls only. We knew it would be the first of many but we would have to wait as one of our friends started med school as soon as we returned from Europe. So now that she is in her last year, 2 of us are married and 1 is engaged - we are already talking of our next girls adventure!
For my high: I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to see my sister, my neice and nephew, my dad and younger brother all in the course of 1 month!
Low: I have been so busy, stressed and overwhelmed with my job I haven't gotten enough time with my husband or myself.
Aha: I am having Thanksgiving for 15 people in 1 week and I am SO not ready.
This is fun geting to know new people and staying connected with old friends...as a little tidbit, Mandy and Jenny and I have been friends since 1st grade, when we were in grade school and Girl Scouts together. Our moms played Bunco together, too! We've stayed close through separate college journeys, and everything else life has thrown at us! Mary Beth and I were also BFFs from 1st-3rd grade, when she moved to Florida with her family...believe it or not, we kept in touch the old fashioned way for close to 10 years - through hand-written (sometimes typed) letters, bizarre video journals, and even crazier cassette-taped 'radio shows' that we created for each other and sent via snail mail...when fate brought Meeb (as we affectionately call her) back to Kentucky for college several years later, it just so happened she married a St. X boy and settled back down in Louisville - we've been reconnected ever since! Marie is a high school addition to our crew, and I'm not sure how we first met, but we all sang in choir together and did some plays together - plus, we were all sort of smarties together in school!
As for rituals, Mandy and Heather both mentioned the girls' lunches, which we have continued - but it's just not the same without ya, girl! Another ritual I have with my family (who I think count as friends!) are Thursday night pizza night at my parents' house...mom or dad makes pizza, whoever can make it goes (including my husband without me when I have to work!), and we eat yummy homemade pizza, annoy my dad all through Survivor, then shush at him when Grey's Anatomy comes on. I definitely look forward to Thursdays!
High: Crossing some big work events off my list as being over and done with - and, I think, pretty successful!
Low: Knowing I've still got LOADS to do before we rest...(and my house still hasn't sold either - phooey!)
Aha: Apparently, as an amateur photographer, I can't charge people just yet...but as a professional wedding cantor, the going rate is $175! Who knew?!
Every year at Christmas, my high school girlfriends and I try to get together to catch up over a meal. Not all of us are back in our hometown at the same time every year, so it's rare to have everyone there, but the effort is made annually, and in so doing, we at least manage to get an annual update from everyone via email.
I have an acquaintance who hosts a great yearly ritual Thanksgiving weekend. Each year, within a day or two of Thanksgiving, she hosts a second "Friends' Thanksgiving." The idea is that only friends are invited as a way to recover from the excessive family-related stress that can sometimes happen with major holidays. Everyone dresses in their pjs or other super-comfy clothes, drinks a lot of wine, and brings a dessert. At the end of the meal, desserts are traded via a draft system, but white-elephant-style, so the competition is fierce. From what I understand, it's a ton of fun! I've been invited, but have never been able to attend, as I usually have my own Thanksgiving dinner on the same day (delayed so that my dad and brother--who works on Turkey day--can drive up and join us).
High: My son's colostomy closure!! Poopy diapers are highly underrated until your kid doesn't have them for eight months of his life.
Low: My baby is growing up far more quickly than I anticipated, and it makes me sad. Happy, too, but it's really bittersweet, and I'm wishing he'd stay small for a while longer.
Aha: Leaving Lucian with a friend for a couple of hours so hub and I could have a date night was emotionally difficult, but very good for us. I think I can survive doing it again, even though I missed him desperately.
I love all today's post so far, but one of my favorite parts was learning that Laura and some of our other visitors were Girl Scouts when they were younger!
You're going to fit right in. Hold tight and later this week you will learn a fun way to relive the best of Girl Scouts without having to do any of the stuff you didn't like!
Just reading all the rituals between families and friends makes me feel warm and reminds me how important they are to savoring all that is meaningful about life.
The key to today's idea is not that it is wildly ingenious, but in fact, that it is simple. Keeping it simple is what allows it the ritual to persist. If it was complicated and formal, chances are life's demands would get in the way and the ritual would be lost after only a few months.
Keep your great ideas coming!
I better check back in- as Claudia came looking for me! Thank you Claudia.
I know I had a coffee ritual with a good friend in college, however we have lost touch with each other since.
My high- surviving Halloween as we build a Haunted House in the community center at work for our residents in family housing.
Low- immediately got sick with walking pneumonia on Halloween - finally getting over it.
Aha- had my ultrasound and confirmed there is only one baby, with a healthy heart beat.
Welcome to the newcomers- think I am still one myself at times.
Yeah! All is right with world now. Kelly Montana, it's just not the same without you. Now if only we could get Kat and Jayme to come out of the wood work. Highwlowa would be complete!
Congratulations on the goods new of your ultrasound (healthy heart beat AND ONLY ONE heat beat!). Will you find out the sex of the baby?
Remember, Kelly and others to whom it may apply. Our January party is scheduled to be a Baby Shower, honoring a group of pregnant women! This will be a week you won't want to miss!
OK - so I totally muissed the instructions too. Maybe I just forgot them after I read all of the fabulous tidbits!
I too was a Girl Scout!
I have a number of rituals with varying groups of friends.
1. I have dinner once a month with some sorority sisters from college. We rotate where we eat every month. It is amazing how the conversations have changed from new professionals, to marrieds, to mommies...it is an incredible journey with friends.
2. There was one inside joke that some of my sorority sisters had when we were is school (different set of girls) involving a monkey. Nothing sinister, I assure you! Anyway...now it is tradition to send each other items with monkeys on them (cards, ornaments, pictures, whatever). Probably the coolest thing we do though is that we've made each other's kids sock monkeys in tribute to our inside joke. ;)
3. For many years now our family has traveled together every holiday season. We used to go somewhere for Christmas, but the timing sometimes varies. Some years not everyone can be there, but we try as much as we can to get to where we can be together. Past trips have included Negril Jamaica, Walt Disney World, Washington DC, Ft Lauderdale, and the Florida Keys. This year we are going to WDW again, but it will be in January. It is so much cheaper then...
4. Jessie and I have a song that we deem as "OURS." (Do you like Pina Coladas?) We also have a particular episode of Seinfeld that always makes us laugh until we nearly pee our pants. (HELLLLOOOOOOO...la la la) Whenever we see or hear those particular things, we call each other and cause a scene wherever we are. I think Jes and Heather have one of those special songs too, if I remember right. :)
Oops! Again forgot the instructions:
High: Watching my son get more and more successful on the potty.
Low: My cat had to be put to sleep while I was on a business trip. :( We will miss you Fizzy Cat.
Aha: "No pee in potty" doesn't always mean, "no, I don't need to go..."
Great comments everyone!
Rituals... unfortunately I do not have any rituals with my girlfriends. BOO! I do have a ritual with my boys though. One night a weekend, either Friday or Saturday, is pallet night and they sleep on the living room floor.
High- watching my boys getting more and more skilled at soccer is so much fun. I won't bore you with the details but Drew is our scorer while JB is Master of Defense. And, I picked up Diana Gabaldon's Outlander novel again. This will be my third time to read it.
LOW- Can I say Rat/Squirrel Bastard on here? I'm currently dealing with the ever so lovely critters in my attic. That rant is on my blog.
AHA- I miss having a man around the house to deal with these such things but it's MY house and I must prevail. I'm storming the Penthouse Suite tonight! All Rat Bastards should beware and pack up or die!
Cheryl, Free yourself from feeling like you have to (or are supposed to) deal with it by yourself. Who says?
Richard is in Louisville until later tonight, but if you want, I will send him over.
No one says you have to be good at - or like - everything. Yes, it is your house, but you pay for it and keep it up. Surely, you won't let someone else catching the rat bastard challenge your fierce sense of independence.
I love all the comments. Actually, Amber, you delivered a nice intro to Thursday's topic. Stay tuned.
You women are a natural at this highlowaha-thing!
Thank you Claudia. But unless Richard is the Pied Piper, I don't think there is much he can do.
I was seriously annoyed with the "professional" that came to "help" me and annoyed with myself for letting him get to me.
I think I'm on the right track today with the advice from one of my co-workers. It's not as complicated as the other guy made it out to be. Nor does it have to be as expensive as he was suggesting. :) I will definetly let you know if it doesn't go well and I need male reinforcments.
Ahh... Girls lunches arethe best. We miss you Heather!
High - Setting a date for my wedding and booking a fabulous reception hall.
Low - Getting lectured by my priest because my fiance and don't want to have kids.
Aha - Having a date set really makes it sink in that I'm getting married!
~Jenny K.
Jenny- At least you two agree! I think that is all that matters.
Hey everyone!
Ooh, Laura brought up the cassette tape thing. I was hoping to bury that one..."Skeeeny as a neeeedle!" Hee hee!
Something my very hesitant husband agreed to at the beginning of the year (bless him) is what we call "Wednesday Night Open House." We try and have dinner for anyone who wants to come EVERY Wednesday. We don't have kids, so that makes it a little easier. My husband has been a bread-making fool, and we just keep it simple - a salad, bread, maybe some pasta or a casserole-type thing. People don't have to bring anything, and lately it's been mostly a time for my family members to get a free meal. :) But I always like when a random grouping of people - friends, family, neighbors - come together. There's so much we can learn from each other, and there's nothing like talking over a home-cooked meal to seal these relationships. We don't have a lot of room in our condo, which can cause some stress, but it always seems to work out.
People would say, "Are you CRAZY? You should do it once a month - not every week!" But since we keep it simple (i.e. inexpensive), and since I need solid deadlines to motivate me to clean, it's probably helped me more than anyone. I highly recommend doing this as much as possible - if you don't want to foot the bill, make it a pot luck. I can't think of a better way to spend an evening.
High: I agree about the election. I have been inspired and encouraged...and cautiously optimistic. I think we have a lot to do, but now's our chance to show that most Americans want to work together and we want everyone to be healthy, fed and safe. I think this is a step in the right direction.
Low: Some problems with my preschoolers - one is quite aggressive, but can be so loving. It's frustrating when you're doing your best to keep everyone safe, but kids still get hurt. Progress is being made, but every conflict feels like such a setback.
Aha: I really am the only one who can affect my own mood. My attitude is probably the one and only thing I can truly control.
This is fun! Thanks, everyone!
MB! EVERY WEDNESDAY? And you work?!!!?
Sounds wonderful. What's your address again. :)
I once read in a magazine about a couple (I think they were caterers) and they had a dinner once a month. I think once a month. It started in their home and grew to be HUGE. You were required to bring a plate to eat. And, I think you had to bring a chair. Not sure on that one. I wonder if I still have that magazine or if I can find them on the web... People lined up and begged to get an invitation.
Lots of fun ideas shared today. Many of these can be stolen and easily adapted - the true sign of a good idea!
I too was a girl scout and so were many of my friends that I still hang out with!
Thanks Amber for covering the things that I forget! You are so my other half :) And if anybody was wondering Heather and I (and all of the 2001 Pioneer color guard) do have a soft spot in our hearts for "Buttercup" I know every word by heart and remember all of our good times everytime it comes on the radio! I recently came on at the gym and I sang every word and was so proud while others stared :)
Every time the Pina Colada song comes on, I hit speed dial faster than lightening so Amber and I can sing it together and have our at least one laugh in our busy day!!
:)
Hi everyone. I just met Claudia this week (although during that meeting I leared I called her once to get a reference for a candidate). And I have been trying to take in all the great info. I guess I will start with my highlowaha.
High: Spent a weekend in Ohio at my brother's who I hadn't seen in more than a year. My sister and her family and my parents were there, too. It was great.
Low: I had a really rough work week a couple of weeks back. Ugh...
Aha: Sometimes it's not what you ask, but how you ask it.
ah, i misread the instructions!
Molly! So glad you posted! Welcome to our fun community. You have things in common with some of our readers. B.K. Root, CSPgrad, Montana Kelly all work in housing, just like you.
Others work in Student Affairs, but other departments.
Still others have kids around the ages of your (our) boys, and the list of commonalities goes on.
You are in good company!
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