Batman Strikes Again...

When I was a kid the neighbors on Hollywood Avenue would sit outside and wait to see what remarkable Halloween costumes the three Kamhi girls were wearing.  They were always special, always ingenious, and always homemade.  Some of the costumes I remember were characters such Pinocchio (with a long paper mache nose), Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel (with a handmade wig that reached the floor), a chef, a cook, an artist; and a scarecrow to name a few.

The older I got the more proud I became of our costumes and of the spectacle they became to the neighbors who waited in anticipation.

If I being really truthful, it made me more than proud.  It made me a Halloween costume snob. I would excitedly hunker down in my apartment on Halloween night, in my 20s and early 30s, waiting for trick or treaters to knock on my door.  Of course anyone who rang the door bell got candy, but the kids with great (code for homemade costumes) got an extra candy bar or the really good stuff (Milk Ways or Snickers) instead of the second rate treats like candy corn.  I was indignant, knowing that one day I would have my own kids and they, for sure, would be sporting homemade costumes and scoring all kinds of Milky Way and Snickers bars.

Then I met Richard and Ricky and all of a sudden I was going to get to put my money where my mouth was.  The first time I participated in one of Ricky's Halloweens, Richard and I weren't married yet and  I had no say in the store bought Harry Potter costume he pranced around the living room showing off.  I have NO idea how to sew, so the next year I supplied my mom with all the supplies and she made Ricky an unbelievably detailed Indian costume.  The whole costume was topped off with a pair of moccasins  and a bow and arrow.  I did it!  My first Halloween with a child and Ricky had a costume worth remarking on.  The next three years I hired a local woman to make Ricky his costumes - Dracula, a pirate, and the Grim Reaper.

Fast forward five years.  On Wednesday, October 22, Matthew's polyester Batman costume arrived in the mail.  He's been wearing it ever since, flying from room to room saving family members from scary bad guys.  I never learned how to work a sewing machine and though I've mastered the hot glue gun, I haven't yet employed it to create the boys a Halloween costume.  

Here's my "aha."  Halloween is not about me.  It's about my boys.  It's my pride, my ego, and my desire to have my kids "ooohd and aaahd" over that makes a homemade costume feel important.  It has nothing to do with them.  Matthew thinks being Batman for Halloween - polyester cape, mask, and all - is the coolest, greatest, most awesome thing EVER. He changes in and out of that costume 4 or 5 times a day, showing it to everyone and practicing his Batman moves.  He thinks his room is Gotham City, Jack is Robin, dad is The Joker, Ricky the Riddler, and I'm Cat Woman (remember this is his imagination at work).  

Here's the point.  There is absolutely no costume that I could work and toil over that would excite Matthew as much as the Batman costume he will be wearing this year.  Imposing my need for a homemade costume on a young child who doesn't value it, just so some third party adults will think I am super mom is... well... selfish.   It says more about my need for affirmation than it does about anything else.

No.  I am not super mom and my children will be wearing store bought Halloween costumes when they go trick or treating this year.  No one will be "ooohing" and "aaahing" over the craftsmanship of their costumes and admiring the devoted woman behind their outfits.  To the rest of the world my boys will look ordinary and their trick or treat buckets will probably be filled with far more Candy Corn than Snickers.  But, Matthew feels as big as Batman... super powers and all.  That's gotta be worth the $28.99 his costume cost.

So today my high, my low, and my aha are intertwined.  My high is watching Matthew fly around the house - cape floating - imagining he is Batman.  My low is letting go of a lifelong belief that homemade costumes are better than store bought costumes.  And, my "aha" is that the selflessness involved in allowing Matthew to have a costume that excites HIM is actually way harder to come by than the selfishness of imposing a costume on Matthew that might make me look good. 

Signing off until tomorrow.  The Bat Mobile just pulled into my kitchen.

P.S.  Peanuts won - 8 votes to 4 votes.  Good luck Melanie and Treye.

One, Two, Three...Cheese!

I’ve spoken to creative friends and relatives of mine all over the map and together we have concluded that a way to measure your “fun factor” is by the number of times you have been asked to host Flat Stanley. I would have to say, I am moderately fun. I certainly haven’t been asked to host hundreds of these fellows, but I’ve hosted enough to be able to provide you with this fun idea…

Elementary kids all over the country (usually around the second grade) are challenged to send a Flat Stanley to friends and family around the globe who, in turn, escort and photograph Stanley on adventures - then passing him along to someone else with a comparably high “fun factor.” I personally have been responsible for getting Flat Stanley’s to places such as Arizona, Time Square, between the hedges at the University of Georgia, Salt Lake City, Los Angeles, the farm fields of Iowa, and more.

If the idea is this contagious in a classroom setting, imagine how much it can be for you and your family or you and your friends. Find a fun family heirloom, a favorite stuffed animal, a t-shirt with some nostalgia, or anything else easy to pack. Next time you go on a vacation, or just embark on an outing in town, bring it along with you. Snap a family picture somehow showcasing the item. Imagine the lifetime of fun and challenge you could have filling a family photo album with pictures of your family mascot on a countless number of adventures. A bonus to this idea is it can persist long after your kids have left the house - for wherever they go, there’s a photo to be had!

Warming up - Fruit Stand Fun

Today marks the first official day of my blog. Ultimately, it is my goal to use mundane happenings and the world around me to post a creative-idea-a-day. Many of the ideas will center around ways to slow the world down through family activities, traditions and rituals. I believe the childhood we hope to create for our children is not so much about the sheer number of hours spent, but instead about the quality of that time. Family activities, rituals, and traditions serve as a focused way to spend time with your children while making them feel special in the process. No promises about the daily post, but it is a little challenge I have created for myself.

I returned home late last night after a weekend in Louisville, Kentucky. When I woke up this morning the first thing I saw was the fruit holder sitting in the center of our kitchen table where the kids eat breakfast. It was still decorated for Valentine's Day. The idea....

How about creating a single space in your home that the family frequents to help build excitement and anticipation for upcoming holidays and family events. I didn't have the time or inclination to decorate my whole home for Valentine's day, but certainly I had it in me to transform my fruit stand centerpiece. By filling it with red fruit, plastic hearts and beaded hearts on a stick (along with fun place mats from Target), I could build some anticipation and magic around what might otherwise be an overlooked holiday. If not a fruit stand at the kitchen table, how about a mud room, a play room, or a mirror in the kids bathroom.

Next holiday... green for Saint Patrick's Day. Check me out on March 1 where I will insert a photo of the transformed fruit stand.