Sorry I'm so late today. I was having technology issues.
Today's creative idea is compliments of Kristen G.
But, first. On a serious note I want to say thank you. This holiday season has been extra fun for me. I've spent time thinking about why and I am convinced part of the reason is because I've gotten to share it with all of you. It's funny. We are spread out all over the country and each of us lives busy lives with lots of competing demands. But, each day - if only for a moment - we come together and share a small piece of ourselves (holiday traditions, childhood memories, anxieties). If you would have told me a year ago that I would have spent an evening admiring many of your Christmas trees, receiving holiday cards from you, or hanging ornaments on my tree from places I haven't been or people I didn't know, I would have said you are crazy. But what a difference a year and some spirited, willing, and committed people can make.
Again, thank you (lurkers and active readers) for entering my small corner of the world and making it richer.
Just as exciting as you entering my world is this... many of you contacted me, outside of the blog, asking for mailing addresses of fellow readers or asking questions about what he/she might like for a present. That pleases me beyond measure. It means we are truly a community, not bound together by me or anything I might post on a given day. It means, if I were to leave tomorrow, the spirit of this blog - the spirit of #218 - would continue without me. Pretty remarkable considering that less than a year ago we didn't exist. It ranks right up there, among the top reasons this Christmas was so merry.
Albeit sincere, enough mush.
Let's get busy talking trash. Per Kristen's suggestion, today we are going to start a new Highlowaha tradition. Today, one lucky (or unlucky, as the case may be) reader will win the "Give Them the Boot Award." This award will go to the person who has the funniest, most outrageous, or most hideous holiday story... about a family member or holiday guest! It could be anything from a crazy family feud, an aunt or uncle's distracting quirk, an office mates horrible display of table manners, and everything in between.
The winner receives a carefully selected and highly coveted purple boot ornament. He or she will keep the ornament through next December 26, when -after another year of stiff competition - it gets passed along to the next winner.
I wish I had some great story to kick us off. I wish I could tell you about my uncle who slurps soup, my aunt who mooned the neighbors, the drunk neighbor who got carried away with mistletoe, or the sister who managed to find the single most useless chatchka to wrap up and call a Christmas gift. But, I can't. I tout myself as creative and yet, I can't seem to twist, turn, or distort a single Christmas occurrence to fit the criterion.
Help me, before our first annual competition dies a quick death.
Signing off until tomorrow...
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9 comments:
Please see my story that I posted later last night as my "story" ... it involves me, not necessarily a crazy relative or friend!
But, in the end, it'll be something I can look back at and smile!
Sorry, I'm not getting the boot here in Illinois, nothing exciting to report... we had our extremely normal Christmas banter, food and excitement. Although it's strange... as my ornament gift to myself, I found a tall purple Elf boot at Pier 1... I will keep my own boot in Spirit of HLA!!!
""It means, if I were to leave tomorrow, the spirit of this blog - the spirit of #218 - would continue without me.""
Say it aint so... foreshadowing???You alluded to job opportunities recently ... OMG Claudia! Your blog and HLA are totally awesome... I so look forward to what is posted everyday... and go back throughout the day to see what y'all say. I have found a place here with enthusiasm and creativity, spirit and drive, to fill my day,{and more} that I have found no where else!!
And competitions don't have to die a quick death... things can be altered and changed to fit the actual moment!! A twist of sorts.
Happy Merry Day, after Christmas
I 100% second what Peggy just said!!
With the series of changes that I've been experiencing in all aspects of my life over the past 8 months or so, HLA has been, and continues to be, a place of ever-changing consistency, which keeps me grounded!
Claudia,
Can you tell how Jack was attacked for touching "THE BABY"?
Okay, I do have another story, if you please....
Christmas Eve, we were enjoying our hors d'oeuvres, started about 4 pm. We had, chipped beef ball, Buffalo Chicken Dip, Bok Bok Popovers, mini weiners and crab cakes (plus more) it's become our tradition... listening to holiday music from station 6205 on cable, candles are lit....and then Bubba goes to see if Home Alone is on tv....as he turns the stereo off poof! the lights flicker on and off and go off.... completely dark!! For 1-1/2 hours.... our block and the next one over... NO ELECTRICITY.... on Christmas Eve! We finished eating by candle light, Sissy and I started singing Christmas Carols, and then we found flashlights to Play the Christmas Holiday conversation cards from HLA....it was starting to get chilly and we were going to light a fire (6 degrees outside).... and then 6 pm came, and the electricity was restored...
... and we all went about our business, videos in the basement, tv upstairs, surfing the internet in another room.... ah, family!!
Everyone in my family actually behaved this year, but there are lots of people I could talk about from Christmases past. I come from a rather... how shall I put this? RED family? Not to sound snotty, but I'm related to a number of people who are backwards, at best, and while I love them all, they do and say some pretty obnoxious and/or ignorant things on a pretty regular basis. I'm a little embarrassed even to share some of these, but I trust none of you will judge me by words and actions that are not my own!
For example, there's the cousin who regularly cheats on his wife, who is now pregnant with their third child. They're having yet another daughter, which I believe is karma biting him on the you-know-what because he's going to have to deal with them dating someday and will have to dread the thought of them finding someone like him. Then there's the aunt who, in the middle of dinner one year, looks around and says OUT LOUD (I couldn't make this up), "You can tell nobody in our family's got AIDS, 'cause people with AIDS is real skinny." That's verbatim, and even more horrifying in person than it is in writing, I assure you. Oh, and the uncle who TWICE said to the boyfriend I brought home (two different boyfriends in two different years), "Nice to meet you. It's great to see she's finally dating a white guy." As if anyone I would choose to date would care if I had been in an interracial relationship, and as if his statement would embarrass me, rather than simply making him look like a bigoted jerk.
And of course, there's the year my husband and I got engaged... a couple of months later, my now-mother-in-law booked a plane ticket for my husband to fly out on Christmas morning to meet his family for their family's annual ski trip. She didn't consult him about the travel plans beforehand, just called him and said, "I saved $100 by booking it for Christmas morning. I hope you and Stacie can celebrate together the night before. She'll need to get you to the airport by 4 am." He promptly changed the tickets. Go figure... he actually wanted to spend Christmas morning with his soon-to-be wife!
OK so here is my story. It doesn't exactly involve anyone in my family; mostly me. And it happened last week, not on Christmas, but it counts.
I was flying from Louisville, KY to Ontario, California to visit my Dad and other family for Christmas. My Dad booked the flights for me a couple months ago. On the way out, I was to fly through Las Vegas (a little slot machine action perhaps), switch planes, and fly into Ontario CA. On the way home, he, without thinking, connected me through Chicago! So I figure no problem getting out there, the problem will be on the way home. GREAT!
The flight from Louisville to Vegas is 4 1/2 hours. Its not really that fun of a flight. But I sat next to this nice woman from Louisville in the emergency exit row- extra leg room. She offers me a free drink coupon, and we chat over wine in a plastic cup (come on, thats funny). She falls asleep after reading the past week's worth of Courier Journal newspapers, and I enjoy my own book...
As we are about a half hour outside of Vegas, I am thinking 'well, we should start decending anytime now'; when suddenly the pilot comes on the intercom thingy and says, "you will not believe me when I tell you the weather in Las Vegas...it is snowing heavily, the visibility is only 200ft, and the airport is completely shut down." A general "OH NO" is heard throughout the plane. The woman next to me and I just look at each other with our mouths open. So, the pilot tells us we are flying straight on to Las Angeles, CA! I am unsure at this point what to think, because that puts me in the correct state at least. Only it is an extra hour and a half away from my Dad's house. Oh well.
So we arrive in Las Angeles, after being on the plane for almost 6 hours, and find that we do not have a gate, and its raining. People in CA cannot function when it rains...so I call my Dad. He says, ok call me back when you get off the plane and find out whats going on.
We sat on that plane on the runway for another hour and a half.
Then, we are told, if we need to get somewhere else, stand in a customer service line when we get off the plane. We finally get into a gate, get off the plane, and I go ahead and get in line. I call my Dad, and he says, stay in line and find out about your bags. I tell him I think I can call my cousin (from my moms side) because she lives in LA. So he decides- OK why dont you stay with her tonight and I will come pick you up tomorrow. WHAT?! Ok, whatever, Dad. I just thought she could pick me up while he was still on his way. He also tells me to stay in the line to find out about my bags. OK...stand in line...HAHA.
2 HOURS LATER, I am still in this GINORMOUS line that moves slower than slow. Dad calls back and says, just leave the line, they wont do anything for you. I call my cousin- she leaves to come pick me up. At this point, its midnight my time, and I am exhausted. Dad calls back again- "NO, stay in line to find out if they will do anything for you". I have already LEFT THE LINE, dad!
I walk down to baggage claim, to find a HUGE pile of bags that never got transferred. I look down and the first bag I see is one of mine. HOLY CRAP I JUST STOOD IN THAT LINE FOR 2 HOURS FOR NOTHING?!
OH well, its over and done with now. My cousin came and picked me up. I can FINALLY eat some dinner.
We get to her apartment in downtown LA, and she has friends there. Awesome. I eat a little something, finally, after not eating for 12 hours. Her friends stay until one in the morning, which is 4am my time.
I finally made it home the NEXT day when my dad picked me up. OH I was so tired and hungry! It was the worst flying experience I have ever had. I am scared to fly home next week, hopefully Chicago has a magic day of 60 degree weather and I can get home without trouble...HA.
Alright... as Cassie (my sister in law so aptly reminded me, I might actually have a story.
So I have a two year old niece. As though she knows she is the only girl the Beeny family will ever know (and she IS!), she is 100% frills and lace. Girly girl with a capital "G." Have I mentioned her name is Frankie? I think this is particularly great, because she is, in fact, the only girl (among 5 boys)and her name can appropriately go either direction. Her real name - Francessca - is reflective of her softer side and Frankie is the alias for when she is hanging out with her brothers and boy cousins.
For the purposes of this story, we will for sure refer to her as Frankie. Frankie asked for two things for Christmas... lipstick (which I got to try) and a baby. Part way through the evening I remembered that a long time ago I purchased Frankie a baby doll bed. I never gave it to her, I think because I was planning to get her a doll to go along with it. Now that she had the doll, I decided she needed the bed. I run down the block (we live close together) and get the bed to give her.
Within minutes of the bed being assembled, Frankie gets frenetic. Jack (only a few months younger) is interested in the bed and wants to help make sure baby (whose name I think is, "Two") is tucked in snug as bug in a rug. Frankie was not one bit into Jack's equal opportunity-I'll-help-put-the-baby-to-bed-gestures. No, this was a job only suited for Frankie and she didn't want Jack anywhere around.
Frankie paced, pushed, pulled, and scolded Jack to keep him away from Two. It was quite a sight - some might say foreshadowing into Jack's future - which only ended when "Two" was quietly and safely tucked into the trunk of the car, where she safely slept for the rest of the evening.
So, if I was nominating anyone for the "Give 'em the Boot Award," it would be Frankie for clocking Matthew in the head with a light saber and stalking Jack to keep Two safe.
I've got nothing unless you count Christmas Eve and roaches flying out of the ceiling but I'm pretty sure that's Claudia and Richard's story.
I've been shopping all day. Still not done. Why don't the stupid elves make enough Nintendo DS'?
I'm not sure when I'm celebrating Christmas with my boys. Either Sunday night or Monday night after work. I guess I should check on that.
Those are some very funny stories! I'm might get used to this kids traveling at Christmas thing. It's been pretty calm around here. :)
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